Parents can Help Children Become Pressure-Resistant

WE usually think of peer pressure as an adolescent issue, but its effects are showing up in younger children. Physical and societal changes mean children are growing up faster than they did 30 years ago. Young people today may also have fewer caring adults in their lives. In earlier generations, extended families and tight neighbourhoods meant children had more grown-ups to turn to. If there was something you weren't comfortable talking about with your mother or father, you might discuss it with a relative or neighbour. These are just some of the reasons that it is harder for children to be peer pressure-resistant.

Pressure-resistance starts with understanding peer pressure. Peer pressure is not inherently negative. The desire to be accepted by a group is a driving force in all humans. Positive peer pressure encourages children to participate in scouting, sports, band, or church groups.

Of course, children also have to face negative peer pressure. The teen years present perhaps the greatest risk. Adolescence is a time of challenging family rules and values. While these actions are part of the normal journey toward independence, they also can result in experimentation with dangerous behaviours. The need to be accepted by friends can make it hard for children of any age to say "no".

Despite the power of the peer, parents don't have to sit back helplessly. One obvious action is to get to know your children’s friends. Here are seven additional suggestions you can try to help your children become pressure-resistant. Don't wait to do these things in your family. Start early and stick with it.

Show your love: Take loving action every day. Children are more likely to handle negative pressure when they feel secure, accepted, and loved. Help children identify and use personal strengths. Show sincere interest in their activities, ideas, and feelings.

Discuss family values: Talk about right and wrong. Practise asking: "What if" as a means of exploring common solutions. "How does this fit in with what we believe in our family?" Practise simple sentences. ("No, ‘everyone’ doesn't do it - I don't!") It even works to use parents as the "bad guys". ("Boy, I'd like to go with you, but my mom would have a cow!") Emphasise that brave and independent people stand up for their beliefs.

Listen and work to understand: Talk less and listen more. Ask open-ended questions, and then let your child move at his or her own pace. Listen closely for the unspoken message under the words. ("Sounds like you're stressed out. You seem lonely today.") Anger is almost always a surface emotion that often covers a much more difficult feeling, such as sadness, fear, guilt, or worry.

Encourage and support decision-making: Children don't automatically know how to make good decisions. They learn by being given thousands of opportunities as they grow. Teach your child decision-making steps, then come up with alternative answers. ("What are the three things you could do in that situation?") Think through the pros and cons, and then choose the right alternative. Give a pat on the back when decisions turn out well. When they are less successful, ask: "What did you learn from this?" and "What could you do differently the next time?"

Choose your battles: Decide which issues are most important. If you try to control every aspect of your child's life, you will endure endless power struggles. Rather than worrying about music, hair, and dress, focus on the "Big Four" ? the four most dangerous activities for teens: unsafe driving, drug/alcohol use, cigarette smoking and sexual activity.

Be an effective consultant: Know the facts, especially about the "Big Four". If you don't know something, admit it and find the answers with your teen. Get accurate information from community groups. Search the Internet for informational sites run by reputable organizations. (Note: The Human Service and Support directory on the Parents' Source website - www.parentssource.com -- lists hundreds of related organizations.)

Set an example: The best way to pass on your family values is to live them every day. Be a positive role model for your family.

Finally, if you're concerned about peer pressure, talk with someone. Parenting is the most difficult and important job in the world. There is no need to fly solo. Talk with other parents and share ideas. For serious problems, consider professional help. Get referrals from friends, neighbours, your spiritual advisor or doctor.

Some Pointers for Motorcyclists

A MOTORCYCLE is extremely vulnerable on the road. One of the factors that expose you more to dangers is that you do not enjoy the protection of a seat belt - a crucial element in preventing serious injury in the event of collisions. So, as a motorcyclist you have to be even more careful.

Here are some things you need to know before taking to the road on your bike:

Watch the Speed

Of all vehicles, motorcycles accelerate the fastest, while heavy vehicles such as trucks and buses the slowest. Be constantly aware of your speed, especially when you see trucks, and when you ride in bad weather and at night. Many a motorcyclist has ridden into the back of a truck. You must also be aware that motorcycles provide virtually no protection in a crash. Other drivers also may not see you on your bike. You must be aware of everything going on around you. Pay constant attention to the signals and brake lights of other vehicles, especially trucks.

The Helmet is a Must

Your helmet is your best protection in a serious crash. So, make it a habit to wear one always. Also ensure that it is of the right type and quality as far as safety standards are concerned.

Inspect Your Motorcycle

Do a safety check of your motorcycle every time you ride. Wear protective gear such as gloves, boots and a jacket. Protective clothing can help reduce the severity of your injury if you are knocked off your bike.

Watch Your Riding Habits

Avoid the bad habit of zigzagging among other vehicles. You cannot always predict what other motorists may suddenly do. Even a slight bump, can throw you off your bike. Never ride in the blind spots ­ on the sides, the front and the back ­ of heavy vehicles such as trucks. Truck drivers cannot see you when you ride in these blind spots. Apart from not riding between lanes, also don’t share a lane with another vehicle. As a motorcyclist you need to learn to ride not only with caution but also defensively.

The Teen Years: The Deadly Risk Factors

SPEEDING, alcohol consumption and a refusal to wear seat belts pose the biggest threats to young drivers. And the dangers are compounded if the driver is inexperienced.

Yet, the lives of many young people could have been saved if only they made a habit of buckling up before turning on the car’s ignition. A quick look at the following speaks volumes on the life-saving advantages of seat belts.

Seat Belt Usage

• Failure to buckle up contributes significantly to fatalities on South African roads
• Seat belts are designed so that the strongest areas of your body - the bones of your hips, shoulders and chest, absorb the forces in a crash
• They prevent you and other occupants from being thrown around the vehicle and against each other
• Seat belts provide the greatest protection against ejection from the vehicle in the event of a collision
  

These are the rules that you should follow when using seat belts

• Wear the lap/shoulder belt combination adjusted so it is low across the hips and pelvis, and never across the stomach
• Sit at least 25 cm away from the steering wheel
• Wear the shoulder belt across the chest and collarbone
• Sit upright with your back to the seat
• Make sure all passengers are wearing seat belts
  

Injury can occur if

• The belt is worn across the stomach
• The shoulder belt is placed behind the back
• The belt is worn under an arm
• The shoulder belt has excessive slack (more than one 2.5 cm)
  

Speeding

It is a known fact that speed kills. The speed at which a vehicle knocks a pedestrian also determines the degree of the injuries sustained. It is a case of: the greater the speed, the worse the injuries.

Some things you need to know:

• A large number of teenagers die each year on our roads as a direct result of speeding
• Peer pressure and alcohol consumption play a part in this
• Driving at about 70km per hour instead of 60km per hour on an eight-km trip will save you less than two minutes before arriving at your destination
• The faster a vehicle is travelling, the greater the chance of serious injury in the event of a crash
  

Alcohol Consumption

Over-the-limit alcohol consumption continues to prove a headache for the people policing our roads. A significant number of young people killed in road accidents had been found to be drinking. The regular portrayal of drinking in adverts on TV, radio and in the print publications as a classy and fun pastime, adds to the problem. The powerful advertisements easily imprint on the minds of the young. But despite all the cleverly devised hype on drinking, the simple truth is: drinking and driving don’t mix ­ because it can kill you. Say this aloud to yourself a dozen times each morning in front of a mirror. It will help.

The factors that make drinking deadly for young drivers:

• Inexperience: you don’t gain real driving skills by just obtaining a driving licence. You gain the skills over time
• Risk-taking behaviour and immaturity: the desire to show off can be very costly to you. Don’t do things to please your friends. Do what you think is right
  

Hand signals

Hand signals (Licence2Drive ~ Learners Licence Guide)

Hand signal to turn right.

You must extend your arm out the window as far as possible, so that it is clearly
visible to other road users. Your fingers must always be together and the palm of
your hand must always face forward with your arm fully horizontal.

Hand signal to turn left.

Extend your right arm horizontally out the window, with your forearm pointing
downwards, now turn your forearm anti-clockwise until it is time to brake.

Hand signal to stop.

Extend your right arm horizontally out the window, with your forearm pointing
upwards. Your fingers must always be together and the palm of your hand must
always face forward until it is time to brake.

Hand signal slow down.

You must extend your arm out the window as far as possible, so that it is clearly
visible to other road users. Your fingers must always be together and the palm of
your hand facing downward with your arm fully horizontal. Move your arm up and down horizontally.

Signalling with the hooter.

Use your hooter only for a suitable time period and only when it is necessary.A
vehicles hooter or horn must be audible at a distance of 90 m.